I read an interesting comment this week which is thought-provoking.
Where someone you know is doing something that you understand to be contrary to the teachings of the Church (i.e. remarrying after a divorce, assuming the original marriage was contracted in a church), or living with a partner without being married, do you "wish them happiness"? Or is it more important to care about their souls?
It's a tricky one because this life is the only life we know so far, and the idea of wishing someone to be unhappy in this life seems to go against the idea of loving them. But if we truly love someone, then surely the greatest thing we can wish for them is life with Jesus in Heaven at the end of the earthly existence. Even if this means that they must be unhappy in this life. This life, after all, is infinitely shorter than eternity, so it is the eternity that is infinitely more important. Better to suffer now and have eternal joy, than to have some happiness now and have eternal suffering.
Of course, I'm not suggesting for a minute (she says swiftly sidestepping the gaping abyss) that we can or should make judgements about whether a particular action on the part of another person will qualify them for Hell, but at the very least we should not encourage people in something we believe to be a sin.
As I said, though, it's tricky and it's certainly not an easy path to go down. It's not going to make those who follow it very popular, that's for sure.
I was recently saved from this dilemma - a long-term friend had a divorce where, as her friend, I did think that she was fairly blameless. However, she was married before God and, hard as it is, that marriage should stand. She's now remarried and my other friends wish her well. I was saved from having to make a stand and upset her by her deciding she didn't want to stay in touch. Phew! Not an easy one, certainly.
Posted by dragonbabies at April 7, 2005 04:53 PMThe advice that I would follow in these cases comes straight from the Word of the Lord. I refer you and your readers to Jesus' first sermon, Matthew 7:1-5 (or Luke 6:37-42).
I would pray for my friend's happiness.
Posted by: paj at April 9, 2005 09:48 AMperhaps you should not only read matthew chapter 7, but try applying it to your life.
Posted by: M at April 16, 2005 03:51 PMhow about if either partner was beating the shit out of his/her spouse. is it better to still stay and try to make the marriage work then? Sure its only life on earth, let them suffer on, as long as they are happy when they are dead right?
My previous reply to this comment got deleted.
Of course it is not better for someone to stay in an abusive situation. If my understanding is right, the Church would fully support the separation of the partners in this instance and would naturally put the physical and emotional welfare of the victim above the marriage.
However, unless the marriage were found to be invalid, it would be hoped that both partners would live a chaste life, thereafter, as if still married, although not together. This is a heavy cross to bear, I know, and I've seen somebody live their life this way and know it can be done but it's not easy and I wouldn't want to judge someone who couldn't live up to it. All I can say is that if, God forbid, I should be in that situation myself, that is what I personally would feel obliged to do.
But to reiterate: the Church (as far as I am aware) would in NO WAY want somebody to stay in an abusive situation just to safeguard the marriage.
Posted by: Dragon Mama at October 28, 2005 08:20 AM