Eight Years

Two days ago was my eighth wedding anniversary. This is always a time of year when I reflect especially deeply upon my marriage and what it means to me. I suspect nobody, except the most naive, would believe me if I claimed that my relationship with Dragon Dada is the same as it was when we first started dating, twelve and a half years ago. Too much time has gone by. After twelve and a half years, eight of which married; with two small Dragonets under five; with a mortgage to pay, a PhD to research, and a job to work at, life is a lot more complicated than when we were just two undergraduate students. We have a lot of responsibilities and I sometimes worry that with all these pressures we lose sight of the romance in our lives.

However, what I inevitably realise is that romance changes, love changes. We no longer have that rush of excitement about seeing each other, the adrenaline rush that is inextricably linked with the insecurity of not knowing where we're going. We know where we're going. At least, we know where we hope we're going, which is about all anyone can say.

Something has replaced this excitement and, although I won't pretend that I miss the excitement sometimes, I'd have to say without a shadow of a doubt that what we have now is even better. The deep comfort and security of knowing oneself loved and of knowing that the one you love returns that feeling is beyond measuring. There is absolutely no-one else in the world, no member of my family, no close friend, with whom I am as completely relaxed and myself as with my husband. Nobody knows me as well - failings as well as successes. I know it doesn't matter when I fail because he still loves me. I also know that if I need help, he's always there.

I can't not mention our children at this point, because to me they are an integral part of our marriage. They were born because we loved each other so deeply we wanted children together. They are a part of us both, while also being incredibly original and independent beings. They challenge us in ways I would never have imagined, and delight us in so many more ways. They have formed a further unbreakable bond between Dragon Dada and I.

And after all this time, I still look forward to him coming home... and not just so that I can get him to quieten the children down while I finish cooking supper. I really enjoy his company and I miss him when he's at work. After all this time I still like to make him smile, make him laugh, see him happy or amused. After all this time I still look forward to the rare occasions when we go out as a couple. After all this time I still can't imagine ever loving anybody else in this way... and, frankly, I don't want to imagine it.

Nobody knows what the future is going to throw at us. I am certain that there will be many trials and difficulties to overcome. I believe there will be many joys and delights, if we look in the right places for them! Finally, I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that my dearest wish is for Dragon Dada to remain by my side sharing that future with me.