You know when you're typing and you pause for a second because you're trying to think of the word you mean to write next but for a moment or two it eludes you? It's reassuring, when you remember it again, to find that your finger is already tapping impatiently on the key for the first letter. Perhaps I just need to switch off my brain and let my fingers rewrite this chapter for me. They might just do a better job!

I'm now (finally) at the stage of study where I'm going back to some of my earliest work and rewriting it. I'm still too frightened to touch some of the material that I put into an "introductory chapter" as I know that firstly I have to write the introduction last and secondly that a lot of this material may be moved into the conclusion or put elsewhere! So I'm starting with my first "proper" chapter. In theory, other than the introduction, this is the chapter that needs the most work, as I'd done the least amount of research when I wrote it. All the later chapters are shaped by what has gone before, but now I need to shape the earlier chapters to reflect what comes later. Sounds confusing? It is, a little.

I'm very grateful to Younger Me (TM) for being so organised as it took me about 10 minutes to dig out all notes pertaining to my first chapter - that is all comments on the chapter itself, rather than all the material that's gone into it. Now I'm starting to work through the comments and see what changes I need to make. I've found that the start of the chapter is unclear so I've started rewriting it.

Now I'm not hugely confident in my own writing skills at times, and there are moments when I feel that I have to rewrite a paragraph, or a series of paragrahs to such an extent that all the original text is deleted. This is sometimes hard to do - and not just because my supervisor has drilled into me the importance of keeping copies of drafts in case I decide I prefer something I did earlier and then can't find it(!) - in case I'm ditching something that I might turn out to need later. I find that the best technique for this is to cut the text in question and paste it into a new document. Give it a sensible name and file it somewhere obvious.

That means I can write the new text with a clear conscience and in a month or so, when I come to look at the new document again (in this case, I've saved it as a possible ending to the introductory chapter, rather than the beginning of the current first chapter), then I will have the perspective to agree with my Not Much Younger Self (TM) and delete it without regrets or insert it elsewhere.

In other words, to help me delete my own work, I pretend to myself that I'm not really deleting it.

Which actually is not a bad technique, because it might be useful to me later on. Younger Self (TM) has proved that many times over.

... and now I'm going to stop talking about writing and editing and go back to doing it!

It's incredible how empowering it feels to have my own tool kit! Dragon Dada picked one up for me in the sales and, as he pointed out, despite the slightly "girly pink"-ness of the case and handles, it does contain a fairly comprehensive set of tools for DIY. Now I've never wanted to be a stereotype who lets her husband do all the DIY around the house. I can change a light bulb and although I haven't changed a fuse in many years or rewired a plug either, I know how to do it. In our old house I did a lot of decorating and helped with all sorts of DIY jobs. I can hammer a nail into a wall with the next person and can handle a drill or a screwdriver fairly happily. But until recently, this has been rare.

Why? Well, Dragon Dada collects tools ... he would deny it but he always slows down in DIY stores by the toolboxes or multipacks of screwdriver bits. Perhaps its the cases he collects? Anyway, we have lots of tools around the place. He's an IT engineer so we've got comprehensive sets of tools for repairing computers. He rebuilds a classic Mini in his spare time (what spare time?!) so we have comprehensive tool sets for working on cars. We have lots of tools for DIY. The problem is, that these are Dragon Dada's tools and he has a storage system that I haven't quite worked out yet. This means that I can't always find them and, if I do, I'm never sure of putting them back where he wants them to be (note: I am fully capably of replacing them where I found them, but where I found them and where he wants them to be are not necessarily the same thing!).

I remember one day when we had two new sofas delivered and the delivery men couldn't get them down the hall because of the stair gate. I was quite capable of removing the gate, but I had to ring Dragon Dada to find out where the screwdrivers were because I couldn't find them. These days we have a whole garage for him to hide things in, so I wouldn't know where to begin looking!
So I've dropped a few hints about having my own set of screwdrivers and now have a toolkit, as I said, and it's already made a huge difference. I was cleaning the hallway yesterday and decided to take the decorations down. We had a garland down the stairs and it was attached with staples, so off to my toolkit for the pliers. The same again today, and when I found that a staple had broken off in the wood and left just a tiny end out, I was able to get the hammer to hammer it in fully and make it safe.

Tiny jobs, I know, but I feel so much better about myself as a woman and as a wife to be doing things myself rather than waiting for someone to do them for me. It's incredible how empowering it feels to have my own tool kit!

[And that's a ring composition.]